Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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