We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize