Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
