Girls should come with a carfax report
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize