Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
