Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize