my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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