she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
