you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
