He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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