I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
