Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
