The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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