I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
