I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
