Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
