every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize