Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You are the jesus of drinking
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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