he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
