If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
