It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
