I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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