Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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