Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
