ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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