Cold hands, warm shart.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
