Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
