so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
