real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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