3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
