Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize