I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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