I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
