Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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