so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
They have beer where we have blood.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
