Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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