oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
two words: eviction party
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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