Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
