Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
