Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
