i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
