he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
