I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
