She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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