I wish I could punch you in the face.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
