It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
