Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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