I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
