Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize