who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
