...so i touched it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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