she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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