My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
