He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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