Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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