please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
