Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
