Whats the glycemic index on semen?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
