I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
