So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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